A few weeks ago I posted the following ad:
Wanted: Weekly Long-run Running Partner
Minimum Qualifications: 9-10 mile per hour pace, occasional interval training, available Saturday mornings between 6 am and 10 am
Preferred Qualifications: Downhill, pacing expertise, Route planner (this includes where to begin, where to go, how far to go, and highlights along the course), Flexible with rest stops (some may need to be lengthy, Port-a-potty radar…just in case, Run nourishment (to include slushy Gatorade, clementine’s, caffeine gummies, shot bloks, and additional beverage refills during extra-long runs), Transportation home from downhill run’s, Ability to measure distance, elevation, and pace, Counseling expertise topics to include marriage, family, adolescent children, work relationships, dieting, academic challenges, and church callings, “Lip Stuff” always available, Kleenex/Toilet paper always handy, Nerve to stand up to bikers, runners, gliders, and others who invade personal running route, Race/Event planner (this includes identification of event, registration, coordination and travel, and training schedule leading up to the event), Positive attitude despite occasional less than ideal conditions (heat, cold, rain, sleet, snow, traffic, wind, rodents, injury, multiple bathroom stops)
Pay: Sore muscles, Sweaty, stinky clothes, Occasional chaffing, Thousands of priceless memories!!!
Unfortunately for me, I have yet to find a qualified candidate. Instead, I ran today with a partner whose resume might look like this: eagerly available night and day, willing to drink gutter water, can stay near by (within 10 feet, if on a leash), prefers multiple stops, must have several small bags available.
Star, as much as I love her, is not quite living up to the running partner I have had for the last 8 years. I will work on training her to fill a few more of the qualifications I desire, but I think she will always fall short.
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